Famous Last Words.

"These bright lights have always blinded me."

I think that if worse comes to worse, I could walk this world alone. I've been so used to being alone as a child and growing up to now. Though I may not have been an only child. There are very few people that actually "know" who I am. What I've experienced and where I want to go in life. Those few probably don't think they are anything special for knowing me or those things. But you are. You know my story.

Because everyone is born, they grow, then they die.

It's not the possesions that you leave behind. It's the story. The imprint.

I entered this world with nothing. I plan on leaving with nothing.



That may sound depressing. But I find it peaceful. To have never known what it is to worry about material things and superficial people. That's the kind of world I would want to live in.

And I will try my hardest to make it so.

As for those people that I have left a imprint on, I hope you cherish every moment with me. And that you will always remember me for who I was, not what I did. Someone who accepted your flaws as beauty. Had a place in her heart for every one of you. And I still do, regardless of situations and conflictions. Looking back on the past is no longer something I do.

I'm just prepared for right now. Will you join me on this journey to the end of the world?

Colors.

"All the needy still need

And all the losers still lose

All the preachers still preach

But they ain't bringing no change"

I don't understand most people. And I can admit I don't understand myself alot of the times too. But I am always positive that something good will come out of it. Someone once said, "Every time god closes a door somewhere a window opens. So you have something to jump out of."

I believe they had something right there. No offense.

I have my negative and positve outlook. Everyone does. No one is perfect. Why would god make us all so different to follow rules that makes us all the same.

I should be able to express myself however I please. I am my own person.

Yet no one will accept me.

I have always accepted everyone for who they are.

Flaws and all. So when is it my turn...

Call it off.

"Maybe I would've been something you'd be good at. 

Maybe you would've been something I'd be good at."

But now we'll never know...

I am under the impression that I'm the only one who believes in trust and faithfulness. 

And actually wants to have someone to lean on in life. 

Someday I will let up on everyone and take their advice. 

But I'm so stubborn that I am afraid I'll never be okay. 

It feels as if we make the sun shine...

Too bad it's only me that feels that.

Good Day.

So you don't want to hear about my good song?
And you don't want to hear about how i am getting on
With all the things that i can get done
The sun is in the sky & i am by my lonesome
So you don't want to hear about my good day?
You have better things to do than to hear me say

So you don't want to hear about my good friends?
You don't have the guts to take the truth or consequence
Success is in the eye of the beholder
And its looking even better over your cold shoulder

I'm not suggesting you get to line me up for questioning
But Jesus think about the bridges you are burning
And i'm betting
That even though you knew it from the start
You'd rather be a bitch than be an ordinary broken heart

So go ahead and talk about your bad day...
I want all the details of the pain and misery
That you are inflicting on the others
I consider them my sisters and I want their numbers

I picked up the pieces of my broken ego
I have finally made my peace as far as you and me go
But i'd love to have you up to see the place
& i'd like to do more than survive i'd like to rub it in your face.....

And i'm on fire...

So you don't want to hear about my good day?

Cape Cod.

I'm seriously sitting here in the computer lab at school. How uninteresting.
I'm supposed to be working on a powerpoint, but thats lame.


I guess that makes me lame too.
I painted my nails purple and I'm wearing white gladiators.

SMILESarecontagious.

Leggy Blonde.

I keep my hopes to a minimum now a days.

Don't want to get too attached, you know?





But who knows. I don't.
Bleh.

Chewin the Apple of Your Eye.

Today my photography teacher informed me that I recieved 2nd place in the USA Character Project Contest. Thats a big deal. I'm proud of myself. I'm on my way to being famous.


Whew, it definetly takes alot out of me.
Being a baller and all. lol.

The Backtrack.

"Well well well..." he said with a grin upon his malic expression. He took my waist and pulled me close eager to inflict pain upon my heart and soul.

Never thinking about how this person whom I had loved so much could treat me like yesterday's news. Fingers were binding into my soft skin making my blood boil. I wasn't just someone you found off the streets. "I was always there for you," I whispered.


With the grimace expanding into something more pyschotic, words slipped through his tight lips, "This isn't the end, for me at least."


Falling into the ground as he let up on his grip my eyes slowly reached the back of my sockets filling with the deep red. I had died. My heart laying beside me decaying at rapid speeds..

Though I was still breathing my soul had not been.

I am still alive on the outside, but on the inside...


I am nothing more than a rotting corpse.





revival seems more and more mythical everyday.